No success makes me who I am. And no failure will ever limit what I can be or do.

A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials. – Seneca

It was two months before my wedding day and my husband, and I were walking through our new home as it was being built when we got a phone call from my mother. This phone call seemed different. . .

I have (stage four) stomach cancer.

Later that same year just after my 30^th birthday, Jesus called my mother home. I was devastated and angry, but never knew that this major life changing event would bring me closer to a relationship with Jesus.

And I could have let this singular event define who I was. I could have continued to use it as an excuse for all of the next obstacles to come and believe that my identity is only in that major event.

Not too long ago, I found myself in my office chair sobbing, asking myself why it seemed like so many others had it all figured out. Why did life seem so “easy” for them? Why did I have to go through so many obstacles in my life?   

Throughout much of my life I have lived somewhere between “not good enough” and “too scared to fail”.

Reflecting back, I was so hard on myself feeling like I haven’t achieved all that I wanted to achieve. But, also conversely feared that if I failed, I was somehow just never going to measure up.

What I have realized in reflecting back on my chosen bible passage from 2023 . . .

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

Psalm 23:4 (NLT)

. . . is that life is an intricate tapestry of triumphs and tribulations, and in the face of adversity, it's easy to let our successes or failures define us. Like a failed test, business, or even parenting moment. However, the true resilience lies in understanding that our external circumstances and or events in our lives do not have to become our identity or hold us back from being all that God plans for us to be.

In the journey of overcoming obstacles, we can find comfort and strength in faith knowing that he protects and comforts us.

At the heart of overcoming adversity is the belief that Jesus has the power to change the way we perceive the world around us. For me, this was a profound shift that went way beyond what seemed mundane or boring and transformed my understanding of success, failure, and identity.

Only when I truly started to embrace the teachings of Jesus, was I able to begin discovering that my true identity is not rooted in my accomplishments or setbacks like my mom’s passing or a failed business venture, or a bad parenting moment, but in my relationship with God.

In the face of challenges, big and small, the message of Jesus serves like a compass or the GPS in your car, guiding us and anchoring us so we can cultivate a resilience that transcends the highs and lows of life, just like the traffic.

A crucial aspect of the journey through this is the recognition that God allows adversities to shape and refine us. God places adversities and challenges in our lives to adjust our path and encourage a focus on internal transformation, where our faith in Him becomes the bedrock of our identity. Now, these challenges are not arbitrary; but opportunities for spiritual growth. Just as a sculptor molds clay to create a masterpiece, God uses life's adversities to mold and shape our character to push us into who we will become.

The challenges we face are not meant to break us, as easy as that is to believe, but to build us into stronger, more compassionate individuals. Instead of viewing challenges as insurmountable obstacles, we begin to see them as stepping-stones toward spiritual maturity.

The transformative power of Jesus is not a passive force; it requires an active engagement with our beliefs and a constant surrender to His guidance and this is truly a work in progress for me every day.

You have a choice.

In choosing to grow spiritually through the challenges we encounter, we acknowledge that our journey is not solitary. We are NOT alone. Our relationship with God is dynamic, evolving, and responsive to the challenges we face.

By aligning our identity with our faith, we gain a renewed perspective on success and failure and instead of being shackled by worldly definitions, we become liberated by the eternal truth of our identity in Christ.

As I have allowed Jesus to redefine my identity, my relationships with others have also undergone a metamorphosis. I now approach relationships with a newfound humility, empathy, and understanding.

I have learned that the love and grace we receive from Jesus as we go through life become the wellsprings from which we draw strength to navigate the complexities of our connections, like water that nourishes our bodies. By recognizing the transformative power of faith, we can learn to extend the same grace to others that has been freely given to us. Our relationships now can become a testament to the transformative journey we have undertaken ourselves.

In the grand tapestry of life (I imagine this as a big quilted blanket with hand stitched intricacies like my grandmother would make) adversity is and will be an inevitable thread. However, through the transformative power of Jesus and the conscious choice of spiritual growth, we can rise above the challenges that threaten to define us.

You are not your successes, and your failures do not limit you when you are anchored in the unchanging truth of your relationship with God.  

So, as we navigate the peaks and valleys of life, let us remember that adversity is not a stumbling block but a stepping-stone toward spiritual maturity and growth. Through faith, we discover that our identity is secure, our purpose is meaningful, and our relationships are enriched by the transformative power of Jesus.

Love and blessings,  

A prayer for you today: 

Dear Heavenly Father, continue to give us peace in the valley, may it be in the suffering we encounter, the chaos of life and/or even in the confusion of not knowing for certain where and who you are truly guiding us to be. Let us be still and remember that our unwavering faith in you is all we need. Allow us to open our hearts and minds to listen to your guidance asking you not why but how you plan for us to uniquely complete your works. And then lean into you for your protection through these valleys and obstacles, helping us to conquer our fears with You and be who You made us to be. Give us courage to let it go and give it to you today Lord.  In Your name we pray, Amen

Letting Go (alternate version) - Switch